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Yesterday had been... unpleasant. Or at least troublesome. And yes, eventually Obi-Wan would have to have that conversation with Ahsoka he'd been putting off for some time.
But that would come whenever it came - whenever Ahsoka chose to have it.
Today, Obi-Wan was meditating, the eopies wandering around him, undisturbed. His efforts to refamiliarize himself with the Living Force this past year and a half had been steady, if slow-- but it was easier now, to simply throw his consciousness into the winds and feel the life around himself.
Obi-Wan sat outside his shack, but in truth, on this island, he was everywhere, all at once, and everyone, all at once.
[[ open! ]]
But that would come whenever it came - whenever Ahsoka chose to have it.
Today, Obi-Wan was meditating, the eopies wandering around him, undisturbed. His efforts to refamiliarize himself with the Living Force this past year and a half had been steady, if slow-- but it was easier now, to simply throw his consciousness into the winds and feel the life around himself.
Obi-Wan sat outside his shack, but in truth, on this island, he was everywhere, all at once, and everyone, all at once.
[[ open! ]]
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Date: 2016-06-25 12:43 pm (UTC)Some things one just had to be wry about, at least if one had ever been master to Anakin Skywalker.
The water cooker gave a soft thwop as the water finished heating. He returned his attention to it. "What questions?"
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Date: 2016-06-25 12:52 pm (UTC)He looked up at the ceiling momentarily, and then sighed.
"At the risk of sounding repetitive, I'm going to have to start with, 'Are you sure that nobody here cares about the Jedi?'"
Yesterday and talking. Those had been a thing.
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Date: 2016-06-25 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-25 01:46 pm (UTC)He paused before adding, "Normally, I'd just run."
He'd gotten very good at that over the years.
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Date: 2016-06-25 01:52 pm (UTC)But then Obi-Wan kind of lived and breathed dancing around the truth.
He picked up both cups and set one down in front of Du-- Kanan. "What did you talk about?"
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Date: 2016-06-25 01:57 pm (UTC)"The war. The aftermath. I gave one person a crash-course on what the Jedi even are, because he'd had reservations and one of his friends was in some galaxy like ours only thousands of years in our past, looking for one of his Jedi friends. And then I mentioned that I had been one."
Well, he hadn't said it in so many words as that he'd said 'we' during the explanation, damning himself to association with no way of weaseling out of it.
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Date: 2016-06-25 02:29 pm (UTC)He took a sip of his own tea as he sank into his seat. "But that isn't what worries you."
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Date: 2016-06-25 02:39 pm (UTC)He frowned into his cup, watching the steam curl up from the hot liquid inside for a moment.
"The Empire believes I'm dead. Dodging clones isn't the reason I keep running," he said, finally. "I try not to get too comfortable in any one place. Whenever I do, that's when the Force comes back around to greet me, whether I want it to or not."
And for the past eight years, he'd been leaning very strongly into 'or not.'
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Date: 2016-06-25 02:41 pm (UTC)He cradled his cup close. "I'd gathered that. You are, after all, somewhat hard to sense for the uninitiated."
By which he meant 'people who didn't recognize your face on sight'.
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Date: 2016-06-25 02:51 pm (UTC)There was more to it than that, of course. There was always more to it than that. But visions and backflips hadn't saved Master Billaba from being gunned down by her own troops, and they'd only brought Caleb more trouble afterwards.
"But I'm getting comfortable here."
And he hated the way that word sounded on his tongue. Hated the implications of it. 'Comfortable' was a swear word and a death sentence. He avoided it wherever he could.
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Date: 2016-06-25 02:58 pm (UTC)... Sorry, Kanan. The sarcasm had always been strong with this one.
Obi-Wan settled back. "I understand your unease," he said, tone milder. "There is a reason I chose to live out here, after all, rather than picking a more comfortable dwelling in town."
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Date: 2016-06-25 06:31 pm (UTC)Still, he settled back a little when Obi-Wan did, and took a sip of his tea.
"So the solution is to just avoid people entirely, hm? Get a couple of eopies, become a hermit in the woods?"
Sue him, it almost sounded tempting.
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Date: 2016-06-25 06:36 pm (UTC)He was, to use the vernacular, slowly running out of fucks.
"It is a solution," he said, "Much as your traveling around has been. But if you choose to stay here, that is no longer viable."
He sipped his tea. "Though blinding yourself near-fully to the Force may be a touch of overkill."
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Date: 2016-06-25 06:42 pm (UTC)He was still being honest, look at him go. He gave a short, sharp sort of smile, and then had another sip of tea. Mostly as an excuse to gather his thoughts again.
"Overkill, huh?"
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Date: 2016-06-25 06:47 pm (UTC)He set his cup back down on the table.
"You would be safer in another corner of the multiverse, that much is true."
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:00 pm (UTC)And part of it was guilt, plain and simple. If he kept moving, he didn't have time to face that part.
"Overkill or not, it'll come creeping back to me if I stay. If I let my guard down." He blew out a soft breath. "Do you ever stop to wonder what your Master would make of where you are now?"
He'd been doing a lot of that, too.
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:03 pm (UTC)Obi-Wan considered his tea.
"Master Qui-Gon always wished for me to listen more closely to the Living Force," he said. "So now that is what I do, every day. Perhaps it will teach me answers. Perhaps it will simply allow me to remain connected to the Force. The Cosmic Force is no longer what it once was."
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:18 pm (UTC)The death of nearly every Jedi in the galaxy had a funny way of doing that sort of thing. Kanan took another sip of tea.
"Master Billaba encouraged my curiosity, told me to keep asking questions," he noted, shaking his head. "Peaceful dissent, she said. I suppose I'm trying to figure out what role that has, now. She'd probably agree with you about the overkill thing, at least."
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:21 pm (UTC)Don't start sounding like a Jedi Master now, Obi-Wan.
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:29 pm (UTC)Look, it had been a while, and Yoda had said a lot of things that had stuck with Kanan. He didn't understand all of those things. There was one about 'do or do not' that still had him scratching his head. But the words themselves stuck.
"Or the one about naming it?"
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:34 pm (UTC)Though with the ghost of Depa Billaba hovering over this conversation, the latter was also apt.
"You may grow to fear more and more that what you do not attempt to understand," Obi-Wan said. "Perhaps you should question why you cling so tightly to this particular fear."
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:46 pm (UTC)Like, apparently, his own name.
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:48 pm (UTC)He would know. He'd avoided just how invested he had been in Anakin, emotionally, until it was too late. And it had brought the entire Republic on their heads.
"Regardless of how much comfort it gives us to do so."
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Date: 2016-06-25 07:53 pm (UTC)He wasn't sure what he'd figured he'd get out of a conversation with Master Kenobi. Maybe exactly this. Maybe he had come here to be told these things by somebody who at least had more experience with those things that he'd gone running from when he was still a stupid kid who was going to save the whole damn galaxy.
"I don't suppose you have any suggestions as to where to start?"
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Date: 2016-06-25 08:16 pm (UTC)It just meant that Kanan would have to open himself up to the Force, just a little.
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