A Room at the Arms Hotel, Saturday Morning

[saddeserthermit]

It had not been a restful night. Sleep had been hard to come by, despite the distractions Obi-Wan had attempted to mire himself in. Meditation had hardly been easier. Restless thoughts kept drifting out and into his mind; he had attempted to cast them out into the Force, and yet they persisted.

It frustrated him. He had thought he had released this part of himself, had at last been able to do what he had struggled to for years. Another lie I told myself. How many have I collected over the years?

Perhaps Qui-Gon had guided him here to expel his attachment to the Anakin that had been for good. To help him take that final step that would allow him to settle into his exile on Tatooine. But if that was the case, it was not working very well.

He had eventually given up on both sleep and meditation and settle in front of the window instead. That had helped some; he could look out over the plane of water before him and think about other matters. Such as Annileen, and her journeys. Had she seen her first ocean already? Had she marveled?

Slowly, his thoughts turned back to Tatooine, to the people he had met, and the people he was meant to guard. That, at least, settled him for a time, well past sunup and into the morning.

[[ for anakin. ]]

Comments

[saddeserthermit]

"I will be returning home tonight," Obi-Wan said. He reached up to stroke his beard, largely so he could obscure part of his face, if nothing else. "I will decide there whether I intend to come back here at any point. If I don't, there will be no problem."

He dropped his hand. "If I do, I have no intention of being uncivil in front of the students. I would hope you don't, either."

[sith_happened]

"Not unless they start it," Anakin said, which was...not very diplomatic.

[saddeserthermit]

The response was as immediate as it was instinctive. "Anakin!"

[sith_happened]

Anakin's face settled into a well practiced "who? me?" expression. "They're teenagers. They have a habit of pushing."

[saddeserthermit]

"So do you," Obi-Wan said pointedly. "Well past the point of your teenage years, so I recall."

[sith_happened]

"Sometimes stupid people need to be told they are stupid in the tiny, tiny words they understand," Anakin replied.

[saddeserthermit]

"And sometimes in spite of what lessons you have learned, your pride and temper still get the better of you," Obi-Wan took from that.

[sith_happened]

Anakin's cheeks heated at the rebuke and he fought back three or four rude replies. "I've gotten better at it," he settled for instead.

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan studied his face. "I hope you are right," he said.

And that was the thing: he did. More than he should.

[sith_happened]

Anakin's cheeks heated for an entirely different reason: he didn't deserve that sort of faith any longer.

"Stick around and you'll find out," he said quietly.

[saddeserthermit]

Perhaps returning to Tatooine would help clear Obi-Wan's mind; there were great dangers in wishful thinking, something he thought he had at last fully accepted.

But it's never as uncomplicated as we would like it to be, isn't it, Qui-Gon?

"We will see," he said. "I have much to consider."

[sith_happened]

"You always do," Anakin murmured. "Would you like me to leave?"

Because as painful as this was, Anakin wanted to stay.

[saddeserthermit]

The question wasn't a surprise; the sentiment behind it was.

"We know now we are not of entirely the same galaxy, but they are similar enough. Except that you stand here, ostensibly redeemed after some space of time," Obi-Wan said. "Tell me, Anakin-- is there more you feel we should discuss?"

[sith_happened]

Anakin rubbed the back of his neck. "I feel that we need to find common ground again," he finally offered, "that's not based on my galactically large stupidity."

Because he missed Obi-Wan like he'd missed his arm.

"But we haven't exactly made small talk in twenty years."

[saddeserthermit]

Twenty years. Well.

"It's not that easy," Obi-Wan said, "as well you know."

He felt his expression slipping again, so he cast a look towards the window. "I was with the Tuskens recently," he said.

[sith_happened]

Anakin's nose wrinkled up. "Why?"

Snob.

[saddeserthermit]

That, at least, got Obi-Wan to draw his attention away from the window briefly to give Anakin a stern look.

"One of the locals was heavily in debt," he said. "The man paid this debt for years by using the proceeds from a protection racket he was running among the local populace. He fueled the fear that fed this racket by provoking the Tuskens, and even staging attacks posing as a Tusken warrior. It cost lives on both sides."

[sith_happened]

"I am shocked to hear that an outpost farmer was being unscrupulous," Anakin said dryly. "Shocked."

[saddeserthermit]

"So I spoke to the Tuskens and settled the issue," Obi-Wan said. He assumed Anakin had not forgotten what 'settling an issue' generally meant for them, and so he didn't elaborate. "But they told me this cycle of violence had started much earlier. A predator had invaded one of their camps and killed everyone within."

[sith_happened]

Anakin shrugged. "Krayt dragon?" he suggested.

[saddeserthermit]

"No, they were very specific," Obi-Wan said. He stared out the window. "They said death came on two legs, and that it wasn't a settler, because settlers don't slaughter. Three cycles ago, they told me."

He looked at Anakin over his shoulder. His face had gone paler. "How did I not know, Anakin?"

[sith_happened]

Anakin looked away. "It didn't exact come up in conversation."

[saddeserthermit]

He'd known, and yet the confirmation still made his heart drop several stories.

"How badly did I fail you?" Obi-Wan asked. "That I did not even see that?"

[sith_happened]

Anakin sighed heavily. "I was better at hiding things from you than you thought," he murmured. "This was my guilt, not yours, Master."

[saddeserthermit]

"This is why we cannot have small talk right now, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. His eyes flicked back towards Anakin. "Much as we might like to."

Anakin wasn't the only one who'd missed someone, here. He just hadn't spent as much time wallowing in the desert about the very notion.