A Hut In The Woods, Saturday Morning

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan woke up to a splitting headache, the overwhelming smell of wet fur, and no Maul.

He'd really thought they were over this stage in their relationship.

He'd also really thought that if My Apprentice ever got wet, she'd probably maul the entire planet.

"Wait," he muttered, sliding out of bed and finding himself confronted with a large quantity of Jedi beige, "That's not a cat." Beat. "Or any of my fucking hamsters."

The eopie made a distressed little noise at him through a small hole in the back of the wall.

"When the fuck did I go to Tatooine?"

This was not a morning for clean language. As was evidenced by the expletives he applied liberally when he found out there wasn't a single pair of Doc Martens in the shack.

[[ open, but also SP warning. Obi-Wan is Obi-Wan from Sith Academy, god help me. ]]

Comments

[spin_kick_snap]

You know what might make Obi-Wan feel better? A hot bowl of delicious black bean noodles, delivered right to his door.

"여기에 누가 배고픈? 내가 판매하는 국수있어!"

Alternately, Obi-Wan might just assume there was a crazy girl screaming at him from outside. Whatever.

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan opened the door of his shack and eyed the girl outside warily. "I didn't know they did delivery in the shite end of nowhere."

[spin_kick_snap]

"미안해? 음, 당신은 국수는 원하는거야?" Lightning asked, making sure to give him a bright smile. Yes, he looked a tad disreputable, but so did a lot of her clientele. And the more disreputable the looked, often the more noodles they bought!

[saddeserthermit]

"Could you repeat that in Basic?" Obi-Wan said. "Or at least Huttese?"

Huttese would be fine.

[spin_kick_snap]

She wished someone on this island spoke Korean. That would be so much more useful than all the jabbering they used instead. Much of it sound like English--she assumed--but with all the accents it was hard to say.

"내 이름은 번개입니다. 나는 국수를 판매하고 있습니다. 당신은 검은 콩 국수 그릇을 하시겠습니까?" She spoke slowly and clearly, making sure to enunciate as best she could. "국수는 해산의 긴 밤 후 매우 건강."

[saddeserthermit]

"I still don't know what the fuck you're saying," Obi-Wan said helpfully, "and I woke up in a shack without my boyfriend this morning, so I'm not in a fantastic mood to begin with."

[spin_kick_snap]

Hey look. You weren't speaking a familiar or useful language either, buddy. No need to get shirty with the peppy delivery girl here.

"제대로 먹는되지 않았기 때문에 어쩌면 당신은 불안하다. 검은 콩 국수는 알려진 숙취 치료입니다!" She reached into the warmer for a bowl of noodles to show him, lifting up the lid so he could see the steam. Fresh and hot, as was proper!

Maybe it could even cure a broken heart!

[saddeserthermit]

Hey, his heart wasn't exactly broken. Just currently in a state of disappointed resignation.

Obi-Wan squinted.

"Okay, I do have a hangover," he mused. "You should have led with the food."

Being annoyed at food delivery people probably was a path to the Dark Side anyway, or something.

[spin_kick_snap]

Called it. Lightning could spot the cues of overindulgence from a mile away. Because they made the best customers, honestly. They usually wanted a lot and were more inclined to let her keep the change so they didn't have to bother with it.

"음! 다만 맛 파열 뜨거운 검은 콩 국수 배관! 완벽한 온도와 맛!"

Just, you know, make sure to pay her. Unlike damn near everyone else today.

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan was usually the responsible one. (Well, maybe the second responsible one, after Mary Sue.) Which should probably terrify anyone about the crowd he hung out with.

"Can I have two?" he said, and then helpfully held up his fingers in a little two sign.

[spin_kick_snap]

See? Called it.

"두!" Lightning said, holding up her fingers as well before scampering over to get two bowls of noodles. "즉 1000하시기 바랍니다 원이 될 것이다!"

She wasn't handing them over yet. She'd been burned, Obi-Wan. Burned.

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan frowned. She was asking for payment, right? He reached into his pockets and found... okay, that had to be local tender.

He held up a $10 note. That much?

[spin_kick_snap]

Lightning had no idea what the currency exchange was, but he was the first person to pay her at all, so she wasn't going to be picky. "고맙습니다!" she chirped, more than willing to trade the bowls for the bill. "서빙 당신은 내 기쁨되었습니다!"

[sith_happened]

Anakin--just Anakin--stopped by to see if Obi-Wan's eopie emergency was over.

"Language, Master," he teased, grinning from the doorway.

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan squinted up at the new guy - and then maybe did an appreciative double-take because being taken didn't mean he was dead. And then the guy talked. "Do I look like somebody's Master? Qui-Gon isn't here."

[sith_happened]

Anakin blinked. Sithspit. It was one of those weekends. "But you're still Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

[saddeserthermit]

"Last time I checked," Obi-Wan said. He eyed Anakin. "Are you drunk?"

[sith_happened]

"It's not even noon," Anakin replied. "I'm not drunk."

Yet, at least, depending on how this went.

[saddeserthermit]

"Those two things have nothing to do with each other," Obi-Wan said. "At least not in my family."

Some days day drinking was just the only way to get through.

"... Did you come here for Qui-Gon's stash of weed? Is that it? Because he doesn't go here anymore." Actually, that'd make that sense. "...Wherever the fuck here is."

[sith_happened]

Color Anakin not the least surprised that Qui-Gon would have weed.

"This is Fandom," Anakin said. "And this is the shack you chose to live in instead a real place with insulation and windows that work."

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan processed that.

"Am I on Perkium again?" he inquired, "Because that would explain why my entire wardrobe is beige and off-white. Where the fuck are my leather pants?"

[sith_happened]

Please hold as Anakin's brain shorted out for a moment.

"You have leather pants?" he asked, sounding strangled.

[saddeserthermit]

"I have them at home," Obi-Wan grumbled. "I'd thrown out most of the robes. Why can't I escape them?"

[sith_happened]

"Personally, I always thought you had homing devices installed," Anakin said. "You threw off your robe dramatically at every duel and never seemed to run out of them."

[saddeserthermit]

"Well, I need to set fire to these and get some real clothes," Obi-Wan announced. "T-shirts. Leather. Plaid!"