A Room at the Arms Hotel, Saturday Morning

[saddeserthermit]

It had not been a restful night. Sleep had been hard to come by, despite the distractions Obi-Wan had attempted to mire himself in. Meditation had hardly been easier. Restless thoughts kept drifting out and into his mind; he had attempted to cast them out into the Force, and yet they persisted.

It frustrated him. He had thought he had released this part of himself, had at last been able to do what he had struggled to for years. Another lie I told myself. How many have I collected over the years?

Perhaps Qui-Gon had guided him here to expel his attachment to the Anakin that had been for good. To help him take that final step that would allow him to settle into his exile on Tatooine. But if that was the case, it was not working very well.

He had eventually given up on both sleep and meditation and settle in front of the window instead. That had helped some; he could look out over the plane of water before him and think about other matters. Such as Annileen, and her journeys. Had she seen her first ocean already? Had she marveled?

Slowly, his thoughts turned back to Tatooine, to the people he had met, and the people he was meant to guard. That, at least, settled him for a time, well past sunup and into the morning.

[[ for anakin. ]]

Comments

[sith_happened]

Anakin's shoulders hunched. "For a given value of explain," he hedged.

[saddeserthermit]

Obi-Wan said nothing.

He offered Anakin a look that said I am a hedger raised by hedgers and you are hedging poorly rather plainly, instead.

[sith_happened]

Anakin had lost track of the number of times he'd gotten that look over the years, and it took his breath away.

"I made poor choices," he finally decided.

Well, YEAH.

[saddeserthermit]

"I'm not entirely sure I would describe what you did as simply making poor choices," Obi-Wan said, mildly, but there was an underlying tangle of anger and hurt that snuck into his voice without his permission.

[sith_happened]

Anakin's lips pursed. "Well, you didn't exactly stop me."

That was not helpful.

[saddeserthermit]

No. Not at all. Though it did a tremendous job at jabbing Obi-Wan in his own sore spots.

"No," he said, after a moment. "I should have been there. That is my burden to carry."

What else could he have said? I went to Utapau confident we would end the war, and when I came back and found my whole world in ashes? He should not have let himself be lured from Coruscant at such a crucial time. He should not have left Anakin alone; he should have known he posed such a risk.

[sith_happened]

Anakin let out a long sigh. "Palpatine played all of us," he finally murmured. "Devious sleemo."

[saddeserthermit]

"We let ourselves be played," Obi-Wan corrected him. He tilted his head up, and looked Anakin in the eye. "I don't sense the dark side about you," he noted.

Attempting to get them both back on track, or rather, to get some assurances.

He needed rather a lot of them, about Anakin and about himself. Master Yoda would not have approved, he was well aware.

[sith_happened]

"I came back," Anakin said. "It...took a while."

[saddeserthermit]

It might well have been the first time since he had seen Anakin that a piece of Obi-Wan's mask cracked, and for a brief second he looked equal parts hopeful and exhausted.

He didn't ask how long.

"I see," he said, and tucked his emotions back where they should be: behind his shielding. "Palpatine--?"

[sith_happened]

Steel entered Anakin's voice. "Shouldn't have touched my son."

[saddeserthermit]

And that gave Obi-Wan some indication of how long, despite not asking. Anakin's change was not likely to come any time soon - Obi-Wan would not allow the Emperor access to the child, nor knowledge of his location.

He nodded. "I met a man at the picnic who said he had met generations of Skywalkers," he said. "I take it Luke is well?"

He didn't ask for specifics. Nor did he particularly care about his own fate. Knowing he hadn't failed Luke, however-- that was important.

[sith_happened]

Anakin's face cracked into its first smile since Obi-Wan's arrival. "Very. He's a Jedi. Leia just had twins of her own."

[saddeserthermit]

It got a small smile out of Obi-Wan as well. "I'm glad to hear it," he said. "Even if it is hard to picture. The last time I saw him, he cried for half an hour about a misplaced grain of sand."

[sith_happened]

"Oh, he still does that," Anakin deadpanned, "but in his defense sand is rough and gets everywhere."

I REGRET NOTHING.

[saddeserthermit]

"Yes," Obi-Wan said dryly, "It seems he does take after his father in that."

It took him a moment to realize he'd just tumbled back into their old patter, and sobered.

(The moment had been nice.)

[sith_happened]

Anakin rubbed his hand over his face and took a deep breath. "So I stopped by the office again today. Seems we're both supposed to be handling Ethics this semester."

He chewed his lower lip. "That going to be a problem?"

[saddeserthermit]

"I will be returning home tonight," Obi-Wan said. He reached up to stroke his beard, largely so he could obscure part of his face, if nothing else. "I will decide there whether I intend to come back here at any point. If I don't, there will be no problem."

He dropped his hand. "If I do, I have no intention of being uncivil in front of the students. I would hope you don't, either."

[sith_happened]

"Not unless they start it," Anakin said, which was...not very diplomatic.

[saddeserthermit]

The response was as immediate as it was instinctive. "Anakin!"

[sith_happened]

Anakin's face settled into a well practiced "who? me?" expression. "They're teenagers. They have a habit of pushing."

[saddeserthermit]

"So do you," Obi-Wan said pointedly. "Well past the point of your teenage years, so I recall."

[sith_happened]

"Sometimes stupid people need to be told they are stupid in the tiny, tiny words they understand," Anakin replied.

[saddeserthermit]

"And sometimes in spite of what lessons you have learned, your pride and temper still get the better of you," Obi-Wan took from that.

[sith_happened]

Anakin's cheeks heated at the rebuke and he fought back three or four rude replies. "I've gotten better at it," he settled for instead.