saddeserthermit (
saddeserthermit) wrote2015-01-04 11:58 am
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A Room at the Arms Hotel, Saturday Morning
It had not been a restful night. Sleep had been hard to come by, despite the distractions Obi-Wan had attempted to mire himself in. Meditation had hardly been easier. Restless thoughts kept drifting out and into his mind; he had attempted to cast them out into the Force, and yet they persisted.
It frustrated him. He had thought he had released this part of himself, had at last been able to do what he had struggled to for years. Another lie I told myself. How many have I collected over the years?
Perhaps Qui-Gon had guided him here to expel his attachment to the Anakin that had been for good. To help him take that final step that would allow him to settle into his exile on Tatooine. But if that was the case, it was not working very well.
He had eventually given up on both sleep and meditation and settle in front of the window instead. That had helped some; he could look out over the plane of water before him and think about other matters. Such as Annileen, and her journeys. Had she seen her first ocean already? Had she marveled?
Slowly, his thoughts turned back to Tatooine, to the people he had met, and the people he was meant to guard. That, at least, settled him for a time, well past sunup and into the morning.
[[ for anakin. ]]
It frustrated him. He had thought he had released this part of himself, had at last been able to do what he had struggled to for years. Another lie I told myself. How many have I collected over the years?
Perhaps Qui-Gon had guided him here to expel his attachment to the Anakin that had been for good. To help him take that final step that would allow him to settle into his exile on Tatooine. But if that was the case, it was not working very well.
He had eventually given up on both sleep and meditation and settle in front of the window instead. That had helped some; he could look out over the plane of water before him and think about other matters. Such as Annileen, and her journeys. Had she seen her first ocean already? Had she marveled?
Slowly, his thoughts turned back to Tatooine, to the people he had met, and the people he was meant to guard. That, at least, settled him for a time, well past sunup and into the morning.
[[ for anakin. ]]
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Attempting to get them both back on track, or rather, to get some assurances.
He needed rather a lot of them, about Anakin and about himself. Master Yoda would not have approved, he was well aware.
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He didn't ask how long.
"I see," he said, and tucked his emotions back where they should be: behind his shielding. "Palpatine--?"
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He nodded. "I met a man at the picnic who said he had met generations of Skywalkers," he said. "I take it Luke is well?"
He didn't ask for specifics. Nor did he particularly care about his own fate. Knowing he hadn't failed Luke, however-- that was important.
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It took him a moment to realize he'd just tumbled back into their old patter, and sobered.
(The moment had been nice.)
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He chewed his lower lip. "That going to be a problem?"
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He dropped his hand. "If I do, I have no intention of being uncivil in front of the students. I would hope you don't, either."
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And that was the thing: he did. More than he should.
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"Stick around and you'll find out," he said quietly.
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But it's never as uncomplicated as we would like it to be, isn't it, Qui-Gon?
"We will see," he said. "I have much to consider."
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Because as painful as this was, Anakin wanted to stay.
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"We know now we are not of entirely the same galaxy, but they are similar enough. Except that you stand here, ostensibly redeemed after some space of time," Obi-Wan said. "Tell me, Anakin-- is there more you feel we should discuss?"
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Because he missed Obi-Wan like he'd missed his arm.
"But we haven't exactly made small talk in twenty years."
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