saddeserthermit: (obi-wan: with anakin neutral)
saddeserthermit ([personal profile] saddeserthermit) wrote2016-07-20 09:25 am

Office Hours, Wednesday

Obi-Wan had not been in his office for quite a while, but somehow last week's events made it seem... pertinent.

So he settled behind his desk early in the morning with a nice cup of tea, attempting to meditate on the... experience of an island full of ponies. And madness. And whatnot.

Somehow, this was not a fantastic way to find harmony with one's self, which was why he gave up on it sooner rather than later.

[[ open! ]]
uncertain_dume: (Kinda Flat)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-20 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Kanan caught that momentary hesitation. It was difficult to miss for somebody who had been as paranoid as he had been for so long. He frowned faintly, though didn't prod at it. Especially not once Obi-Wan agreed to it.

And then he asked about his training, and Kanan exhaled in a soft huff of something that was almost a laugh. A very wry, tired sort of laugh.

"Not far," he admitted, his voice dropping to a near whisper as he spoke. "She took me as her Padawan, I got my crystal and built my lightsaber, and then we went to war. We had good talks, and she kept my training up enough to get us through, but it was always minimal. There wasn't much time to train properly on Kardoa," because he'd been shot and spent a good chunk of the downtime afterwards in a bacta tank, "or Mygeeto, or Kaller. The first night we set aside for any real amount of actual training after we became involved in the war, that was the night they turned on us."
uncertain_dume: (Talky)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-21 10:41 am (UTC)(link)
"No," Kanan sighed. "I haven't. I don't know if she suspects who I was, considering how much older I am compared to what I should be by her standards. But I recognize her well enough."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I should. I know. But opening up isn't something I'm very good at, and coming up with a reason to take her aside after class without being obvious about why hasn't happened yet."

Then again, she'd pretty blatantly used the Force while fighting that rancor sim he'd cooked up. He was still trying to figure out if she wasn't actually hiding it, or if she was banking on people thinking that all Togruta could move like that.
uncertain_dume: (Beard Stroke)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-21 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
Kanan nodded, pursing his lips a little in thought.

"I suppose I could take her aside after class one of these days. It isn't as though this semester I'm teaching anything so blatant as a course on keeping out of notice."

Kind of the opposite, actually.
uncertain_dume: (Tiredest)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-21 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
"Well, for what it's worth, I have no interest in going back to war." Kanan's brow was furrowed as he spoke, but his eyes were down, turned toward the tea sitting between them. "The last one left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth."

Total mystery as to why. Really.
uncertain_dume: (Meditatey)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-21 11:21 am (UTC)(link)
Kanan hesitated, biting his lip and then nodding a little. Tea would give him another reason to stay if he lost his nerve again and tried to come up with excuses to leave.

He needed to be here. Needed to be having this talk.

"Please," he replied. "Thank you."

Hey, at least he had manners, somehow.

"And now that you mention it... maybe that is part of it. It's never really been framed as this passive, welcoming thing. Not since I became a Padawan. I mean, hell, we call it the Force. Even our name for it doesn't conjure images of peace." He smiled, wryly. "Master Billaba would meditate together, when we could. That's about as peaceful as it got."
uncertain_dume: (Teaching)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-21 11:52 am (UTC)(link)
Kanan wasn't going to mention that he was more of a caf person anyway. Though he predicted a lot of tea in his future.

"A relationship that isn't tainted by war," he noted, thoughtful. "More meditating, then?"

It seemed like a safe bet. Master Kenobi seemed to do more than a little of it, himself.
uncertain_dume: (Smugface)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-22 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
"I think I can dredge up the patience," Kanan replied, smiling wryly. "It's been a while, but I'm no stranger to sitting alone with my thoughts, either."

For a very long time, that was the only company he'd kept, after all.

"Meditating is a bit like that, but with fewer thoughts and more Force, anyway."
uncertain_dume: (Little Smirk)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-22 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, the eopies had been a safe place. Kanan liked animals. If they turned on you seemingly out of nowhere, you probably had it coming.

"Without being overwhelmed by them, you mean?" He shrugged his shoulders a little. "I think I can handle that. It's still not far, anyway."

And he was less likely to try to strike up a conversation with them, per se.
uncertain_dume: (Pensive)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-22 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)

"I don't imagine most of them would take well to being interacted with by some unseen presence while they're trying to learn about- what classes are there today? Sex ed and romance novels? There are a few uncomfortable topics to interrupt, right there."

Great. He was quipping. Good sign that he was nervous, right there. Maybe he'd just reach for that tea, hold it in his hands and let the warmth of the cup soak in.

"I mean. I can do this."
uncertain_dume: (Meditatey)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-22 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)

"Yes, Master Kenobi," Kanan replied, and for once he sounded more like Caleb than the man he'd tried to become. He took a deep breath, tried to wind down, and let himself settle in to drink his tea.

A few minutes later, feeling a little less anxious than before, he moved to join Obi-Wan on the mat.

And with another deep breath, he closed his eyes.
uncertain_dume: (Just Perfect)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-22 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"If nothing else, there's always Bob," Kanan agreed, and with another slow inhale and deliberate exhale, he was letting his own consciousness drift out, guided by the Force in search of... if not a connection, at least awareness. With the exception of the eopies, it was the farthest Kanan had let himself reach in a long while.

Over there, as he'd figured, there was Bob. Kanan lingered for a moment, curious to see what exactly a dead man looked like, when seen this way. He didn't let his consciousness linger there for long, reeling in and venturing elsewhere when it occurred to him that Bob might notice him there, too.

Don't poke the ghost. Go poke someone who exists in a slightly less ethereal state. Yes.
uncertain_dume: (Meditatey)

[personal profile] uncertain_dume 2016-07-23 10:58 am (UTC)(link)
Kanan - Caleb, really - gave a little hum of acknowledgment, slipping readily into the student role at Obi-Wan's gesture. There was more life out there beyond Bob's strange half-existence, at least a dozen young minds engaged in learning in some class or another. He lingered there next, observing with a soft, bittersweet sense of nostalgia. This was something that felt... not wrong, no, but different without Master Billaba's presence there doing the guiding.

"Those are the students?"

There was so much to them. He'd forgotten how distinct, how vibrant people could be this way, all in some superficial sense the same but each vastly different from the next. He found himself a little bit in awe of it. It had been a while since he'd looked at anyone this way, after all.

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