Voicemail

[saddeserthermit]

"You have reached the communications device of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Please leave a message."

Beep.

Comments

[sith_happened]

In Anakin's defense, this was supposed to have gone to Jaina.

"It's me. Haven't really talked to you in a while and was worried because, let's face it, our galaxy is completely screwed up and you have a tendency to just plow through things and pretend everything's okay. Give me a call back when you can, okay? Tell me you have all of your limbs?"

[saddeserthermit]

[[ to here and here ! ]]

[wrongkindofsith]

[from here]

To say Cara was not in the mood for this would be an understatement. Still, there was one way to teach this idiot a lesson. "I have a better idea. Why don't you come around to my place, so I can tell all about what I want to do to you," she purred. "In great detail."

Even if she couldn't actually do anything if he was stupid enough to show up, she could be more than descriptive enough to scare him silly.

[saddeserthermit]

Of course this would be the reply that did make it to Anakin.

[furnaceface]

[From here!]

"Ehm, I'm fine, really. No bad somethings that need to be stopped at present. Perhaps make this call again a week or two ago? It'd be far more helpful then, luv."

[wandering-stone.livejournal.com]

From Here

"I assure you that I have no interest in your parenting skills or your clumsy attempts at procreation. Please do not call me again."

[spin_kick_snap]

[From here]

"Wait, phone sexcapades are a spring tradition? I'm so confused. And what's a Twi'lek? You had sex with one? Not that I'm judging! I'm not judging!"

April Fool Phones 2015

[talentforlying]

[From here.]

"Sweetheart, if you need help to be steered away from assholes, STDs are the least of your worries. An STD you can medicate. An asshole is forever."

[imafuturist]

[from here]

"Who is sending you booty calls? Do we need to discuss this? Because I really don't think I'm equipped to discuss casual sex with you." A beat. "Please don't tell me you found Tinder. Stay off Tinder. Or Grindr. Don't look that one up. I'm calling Pepper. She's better at this."

[saddeserthermit]

[[ to here ]]

[gavegoodface]

After he managed to stop laughing, Face saved the message for later, and tried to come up with a good reply.

"You forgot that the dolls also have amazing cocks and no refractory periods."

Obi-Wan wouldn't be shocked to learn that this was at least in part Isabela's fault.

[saddeserthermit]

[[ to here. ]]

[throughaphase]

[From here]

"Excuse me, I did not volunteer my assets at you. in fact, even if I wasn't taken, you would not be my booty call. That'd be so weird."

[nuclear_snide]

(From here!)

"Hitting on Kenobi? Why on earth would I do that? And I don't kiss much of anybody with this mouth these days, thank you very much for rubbing it in."

[saddeserthermit]

[[ and around she goes... ]]

[solo_sword]

Hopefully Obi-wan got texts, because there was no way Jaina wasn't immediately getting a hold of his number and sending one:

This is Anakin's granddaughter. Please get pictures.

[saddeserthermit]

Well. Obi-Wan puzzled over the likelihood of this actually being Anakin's granddaughter for all of a minute before he realized that it was hardly beyond the scope of possibility.

Especially since she seemed to know something was up.

About an hour or two after receiving her text, he sent three pictures of Anakin looking extremely doofy while wearing a Padawan braid.

He was a good ex-Master, clearly.

[solo_sword]

Was it inappropriate to send Obi-wan Kenobi a text full of a dozen or so heart emojis for that?

Probably, but it was Jaina, so she did it anyway.